i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
