I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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