ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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