ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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