I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
