There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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