He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize