Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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