I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
