Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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