So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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