Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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