Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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