What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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