the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
