So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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