Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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