I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
