i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
