I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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