He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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