She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
