yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
