I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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