i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
