you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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