i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
