I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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