im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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