She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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