I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
