so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
