Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
