Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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