i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
