If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
meet me or not, i'm out of control
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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