im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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