Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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