he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
