Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize