So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
