you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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