i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
