i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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