i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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