it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
There r osticjed everywhere
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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