The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
my poor anus
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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