so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
