So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well I just put wine in my tea
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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