maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
