shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
