It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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