I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
