im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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