You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
