I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
love makes seman taste better
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
