She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize
