We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
