its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
