How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
