the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Two words: nipple clamps
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