I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
